Dear Vicky from four years ago, I have been meaning to write but words don’t come readily these days. How do you sum up the depth of what you have experienced in simple words? And even if you could, who has the time with a two year-old needing 110% of all of you all the time. God heals, doesn’t He? Somehow the daily tears and attacks became only weekly, then monthly, and then one day you realized the rain clouds have lifted. Through His grace, life does move on. To be very honest, I am still not sure why this all happened, but you declared victory anyway. And victorious you were. You gave birth to a beautiful little boy, got a great part-time gig, finished grad school, and in true Vicky style, you ‘planned’ in fun. Only because of your circumstance, you met people you never would have otherwise. You went to places you never would have. You’re stronger than you realized. And God just kept providing. Remember the free formula, free clothes for your son, discounted J&J and Lancôme stuff? Don’t forget you messed up plenty! As much as you do not like to admit, you are wrong. OFTEN! Your finances were in constant chaos for a good couple of years. Thank goodness you finally bought a GPS. You may think you know where you are going but you don’t. And you need help, lots of it. There is so much you could not do and so many people in your life willing to help if you just asked. Keep working on that pride, you have a long way to go there. Your family and friend who love you long for your “happily ever after.” I am not sure what to tell them except that I do not think that our Christian lives works that way. Each day is a constant struggle. Some days it all comes together, the little guy and you have a wonderful bonding time, work is under control, and you even manage to squeeze some exercise in. But many days don’t work out that way. You are learning to embrace those days too. Keep walking. I know in the depths of your heart you long for ‘that family’. Your little free time is spent on reading blogs about families of all types. Vicky from four years ago, I know you felt like your world just ended and it was hard to imagine what the future held. Let me assure you that it is fuller than you ever imagined. There are still really hard times like day you worked a double shift to put your baby to bed only for the airlines to cancel all its flights home. You have endured through the suffering to take hold of the gift of true joy. How much more did the Lord suffer for us? Through your passing rain of sadness, the Lord reigns. **** Something I wanted to write many months ago after extracrispy shared a special entry. Nothing like a 3 hour flight delay to get me motivated. | 
